A ho hum week in song…

Written as part of the Daily prompt challenge – ‘Playlist of the Week’

Well, I saw this prompt and thought ‘yeah, that’s doable’, although when I came to think about it, last week wasn’t a particularly cheery one.  Nevertheless, I think these five songs are fairly representative, in a rather literal way!!

  • Walking the Dog  – Rufus Thomaswell, I do that every day, rain or shine, bad foot or no, otherwise Suki starts climbing the walls!
  • Give me Novocaine – Greenday:   Had an injection in my foot on Friday, and I now have an attack of the Shingles, not in anyway related but both really ouchy!
  • At the Car Wash – Rose RoyceYep, went there with husband in his car, not mine.  Mine is still mangled after the prang I had the week before.  It needs a bit of Novacaine too 😦
  • Born to Lose – Ray Charles:  Sat and watched the Australian open final in its entirety on Saturday morning (well, I had a badly foot!).  Was really hoping Andy Murray would do it this time, and he was playing superbly for a bit, but eventually had a melt down, and was ‘bagelled’ in the last set (6/0) d’oh!
  • So Tired by The Kinks – works on two levels – I am indeed very tired, thanks to the Shingles virus and some strong painkillers, and also tired of waiting for a parcel to arrive…

Hope your week was a better one!

Luscious Words Wednesday

My occasional series of delicious words (ok, I’ve only done it once before so maybe not a series, but I’ve got good intentions…) taken from the Oxford Dictionary.

Luminescence pic

Cheeky glowing fishy photo from Google Images.

My yummy word for today is:

‘Luminescence’ 

Meaning ‘The emission of light by a substance that has not been heated, as in fluorescence and phosphorescence:’

Say it slowly, and feel how it starts with a pout, has a smile in the middle, and ends with a soft sigh.

Just the idea of something that produces it’s own light is fantastical and mysterious.  It makes me think of deep sea creatures and glow worms (not that I’ve ever seen a glow worm, but I’m sure Disney uses them a lot in his films).

I do know a few people that have a certain glow to them (in a good way, not the ones that work in Sellafield or somesuch, like Homer Simpson) My friend Barbara, who died some years back, and who I miss a great deal, always seemed radiant from within, and had a glorious naughty twinkle in her eye. I wonder if she still keeps her hat on to go to the loo….. ahh..that’s another story..

I’m not sure if I glow. I try and be warm and smiley. I’m probably a bit cheeky, and sometimes I am definitely incandescent with ire, which doesn’t seem to be a good thing. Perhaps it’s something I can work on, or perhaps it’s something some lucky attractive folk are just born with, or perhaps even, it’s not something I should aspire to anyway.  Maybe you can enlighten me!

Ghostly goings on?

DSC_0398I’ve just finished watching a mini-series on the BBC called Remember Me, which was a good old-fashioned ghost story.  It was supposed to be spooky.  It had the lot.  A rocking chair rocking on its own, doors slamming, unexplained phenomena, not to mention weird music and bangs to make you jump. It didn’t scare me though, I don’t believe in ghosts.

Nonetheless, perhaps Christmas is a time when we think about them whether we believe in them or not. Well, we all know about Scrooge and his ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.  Certainly we think about loved ones that we’ve lost over the years.  We might hear the echo of their laughter over the turkey, or their voice singing Christmassy tunes.

Whilst nothing has yet has convinced me that spirits walk the earth rattling chains, with their head under their arms, or that they are vaguely wafting about waiting to give us a fright, I have had one or two odd experiences that other, more open minded sorts, might put down to ghostly goings on.

In particular two incidents stand out as being just so real both at the time, and even in retrospect, that I am left with the feeling that, though completely explainable, these things were out of the ordinary.

The first time was when I was in Florida.

My father-in-law was a wonderful man, kind and jovial. Sadly he died aged just 64 from Mesothelioma, an asbestos related lung cancer.  Before he died, and unbeknownst to us, he left instructions and enough money to make sure that we took our daughters to Disneyland and had a fabulous time.  At the time we were scrimping and scraping our way through life, so this gift was unimaginably generous, and we were all extremely excited.

We spent our first week enjoying the delights of Disney, and the second at St Pete’s beach, which was equally wonderful in its own way.  While we were there, I was woken in the middle of the night by the phone ringing.  The girls were asleep in the bed next to us, so I quickly jumped up and sat on the edge of the bed to answer it before it woke them too. I remember the conversation exactly:

‘Kaye?’

‘Yes, who’s that?’

‘Gordon’

‘But you’re dead’ (I know, I was a bit blunt..it was the middle of the night)

‘Don’t you worry about that. I just wanted to know if you’re enjoying yourself?’

‘Yes, yes, its fabulous and thank you so much, but…how are you ringing me, you’re dead’ (I know, rubbing it in)

‘Don’t worry about it, as long as you’re all having a good time. Are the girls ok’

‘Yes, they’re fine.  How are you ringing me??’

That was it.  I got no more, just the dialling tone. I put the phone back on the hook, lay back down and went back to sleep. When I woke up, momentarily, I believed it was real, but of course, it had been one of those really vivid dreams.  I had wanted so much to tell him just how grateful I was that, without realising, I’d wished myself into dreaming of that contact.

The second time was when I was in a car crash.  I was waiting to turn right into the road where we live.  It was Friday evening and I’d dropped the kids off at St John’s (they were members from the age of six until their teens), so I was, fortunately, on my own.  I was minding my own business, waiting for a gap in the stream of traffic heading towards me on the other side of the road, when there was an enormous thump.  A car, travelling at speed had hit me in the back and sent me careering across the road into the oncoming traffic.  I can vividly remember my confusion. I had no idea what had happened, just knew the car was moving without my having done anything.

Now it can only have been a split second, but as others will testify, time slows down, we go into slow-mo when something like that happens, and in that split second I quite clearly heard a voice. It sounded like my nan.  She shouted at me

‘Kaye you have to steer….and brake..NOW.’

It woke me up from the shock and I managed to safely bring the car to a halt.  As I say, a split second and I’m pretty sure it was my subconscious initialising a safety procedure.  The car was a write-off, but apart from a bit of whiplash and shock I was fine, and I’m sure it was just the shock that left me with that slightly odd feeling.

Of course many people believe our spirits live on and equally as many have a belief in reincarnation. Again, I’m afraid it sounds far-fetched to me. But I can concede that often children seem wiser than their years, or people have skills they appear to have been born with. They have vocations or yearnings that would appear to have come from nowhere and I’ll be open with you here.

For many years, I have longed to visit Japan.  I have a fascination for all things Japanese. Unusually for a Westerner, I can listen to, and get lost in, Koto music for as long as you like.  I dream of mountains, and gardens, and cherry blossom.  So much so, that in fact, I’ve often said that I must have been Japanese in a past life.  But it is said facetiously.  I don’t really believe it.

Or do I?

Let me know if you’ve had any weird experiences like this. I’d like to think it’s not just me!

Wine of Life

DSC_0085Taken in response to todays photo 101 challenge – ‘Water’

Ok, I’ve got lots of great photos of water. Still lakes, calm blue seas, or sea with white horse waves skipping on it’s surface. There are waterfalls and swimming pools, ponds and puddles, but none of them really conveyed what I wanted to say.

We’re always being told that, to achieve happiness, we should be grateful for what we have and not worry about what we don’t have.  The one thing that brings this home to me every day is that I am lucky enough to have clear, clean water, on tap, to use as I want, how I want. Not just cold water, but hot water too.  I can shower and wash my hair, have clean clothes everyday, I can drink it neat, or boil it to make tea, I can grow things to eat, and hey, grow things just ‘cos they look pretty too. I have a toilet that flushes all the waste away, out of my sight and mind. I have a pond teeming with beautiful fish, yes, just for my pleasure.

I could go on, but you’re probably thinking ‘yeah, yeah, we know all that, get on with it…’, but we should always, always, remember that this is a luxury, there are thousands, millions probably, of people in this world who still don’t have access to clean water, or if they do, they have to carry it miles in containers to their homes. Do you know that around 500,000 children die every year from disease caused by drinking contaminated water? (see WaterAid for further info)

Whilst I enjoy a glass of wine (or two) I hope I never forget that I am privileged to be able to have a glass of water now and then, straight from the tap.  Cheers!DSC_0085

Tick Tock – am I wasting my time?

dandelion

The clocks went back an hour on Sunday morning, and my body clock has not yet adjusted.  So with my brain’s usual contrariness I woke up at what would have been 6:30 a.m. on Saturday but was in fact 5:30 a.m. today.  Normally of course, the alarm alarms me into half wakefulness (enough to reach for the snooze button) and it needs two more attempts to rouse me to the point where I can crawl out of bed.  This morning though, I was wide awake. Waiting.

It occurred to me that I have wasted an awful lot of my time waiting one way or the other.  I suspect at least a couple of years of my life were spent sitting in the car outside of various establishments waiting for the kids to come out of drama/violin/gymnastics/St John’s/choir classes or other kids parties.  And later, as taxi driver extraordinaire, waiting in the car at a distance from whichever pub or club they’d been to.

Then there’s the level crossing further down our road that we had to cross to get to their primary school.  Heaven only knows how many hours I’ve lost sitting waiting for the trains to pass.  The other day me and the dog were there for 20 minutes – that’s five trains worth. Twenty precious minutes of my life, gone, just like that.

And while we’re about it, what about waiting at airports, stations, waiting for buses, waiting at the dentist, the doctors.  My life ticking away while I’m sat reading out of date copies of ‘Practical Caravan’ or ‘Angling Times’ neither of which I have any interest in whatsoever.

A couple of weeks ago we watched a fantasy type film called ‘In Time’ (see the trailer here) where everyone lived until they were 25 after which they had to buy time, otherwise they were ‘terminated’.  Time was currency, and everyone had a clock built in to their arms which they could see running down.  Employment was paid in hours.  The wealthy could live forever.   Poorer people ran everywhere to save their precious minutes.

Of course, it was daft, but I did find it thought provoking (and actually much better than it sounds – worth a watch).  It made me think about the hours I waste, and the difference between wasting time, and, well, living.

Am I wasting time when I play games?  Is playing Candy Crush Saga on my phone any worse than sitting watching pap TV or reading a bit of entertaining chick-lit?  Am I wasting time when I’m writing?  Aaagghhh… now there’s a question.

I certainly spend a lot of time writing, or at least messing about on my blog, tweaking it, reading other blogs etc.  Hours pass by miraculously quickly and I often think ‘I must stop this and do something useful’.  And then go and do a bit of sewing, which if I was making clothes might be termed as useful, but I don’t, I make soppy things out of felt (you can see some here!).

I suppose it brings me back to the question of why we do creative things.  Whether it’s wasting time to just enjoy yourself.  Lose yourself in creating something original, unique, perhaps even entertaining or useful.

I’ve searched the internet for answers, and not really come up with anything definitive.  But I have had a deep think about my motives.  My motives for wanting to write, to want more followers, more readers, this urge to foist my thoughts on the unsuspecting public.  After all, I don’t think they’re particularly enlightening thoughts, probably not original either for that matter. It doesn’t even earn me any money for goodness sake!

But I have come to a conclusion:

The reason I write all this stuff and nonsense, the reason I post it on my blog for all the world to see (if they care to – come on world!), is to leave a mark.  A mark of the real me.  Not the me that is a mum or daughter, or wife even, nor the me that colleagues knew, but the nugget of me, that even I don’t know about until I start putting things on paper, the central joy of the absurd, as well as the deep chasms of darkness, that my inner self seems to dwell in sometimes. It is the yin to my outward yang.

Most of my family have found it hard to understand why my short stories tend to bend towards the dark side.  Only the other day my mother complained that they never have happy endings.  To be honest, I don’t know where they come from either, but that’s just how I write.  Some people start out with a plan, a ‘beginning, middle and end’, but I’m one of those folk whose hands practically take on a life of their own when I’m bashing out a story on a keyboard.  I don’t know what’s going to happen to the protagonist until there it is, on paper, a sticky end again.

And as far as verses go (no, still can’t bring myself to call them poems) well, they just turn up in my head as a rhymey line or two, and I knock them into some sort of shape from there.

So, basically, as well as leaving my mark, for posterity sake (my words will be around a lot longer than me), it reveals the individual in me, not only do my family, friends and followers get to know me better, I get to know myself too.

Therefore I conclude:

Writing is not a waste of my time. Yay!!

Weather Wednesday

I’m always really thrilled when I look at my stats and find people from so far and wide have been peeking at my blog. It’s really exciting to know that my dumb words are filtering out to the four corners, and I was thinking that I’d really like to know a little bit more about what it’s like where you are.  So I’m going to start with the weather (I am English after all!).  You’re on my new Today page, so it would be great if you would just pop a comment in the comments box below telling me where you are and what it’s like outside your window today.

Here’s my starter:

I live in a village, just outside a small market town which lies about 35 miles North of Nottingham (where Robin Hood came from, actually I’m only a couple of miles away from Sherwood Forest!), England.  After the left overs of hurricane Gonzalo passed our way yesterday, causing high winds which had me chasing after the chairs in the garden in torrential rain, there are blue skies overhead this morning and the trees are still.  It’s really chilly though, probably the coldest day of Autumn so far, I don’t have a thermometer around, but I think it’s probably no more than 7 degrees-ish brrr… Winter approaches.

I’m excited to hear about your world, so I do hope you have time to drop me a line.  I’ll let you know what the results are next Wednesday!

ta!

 

Cheery Tuesday

DSC_0064I might as well give up, I can’t find anything interesting to say about Today, except that the can-can was danced in Paris for the very first time on this day in 1858.  Well, that’s quite interesting I suppose, but I didn’t want my nice new Today page to be just ‘this day in …’ that’s been done. To death.

Nope, I was hoping for exciting, interesting things.  Brilliant stuff I’d done Today.  Hilarious situations I’ve been in Today. Crikey, I even suggested a theme for each day of the week in my blogging 201 post outlining my goals. Yep, it’s supposed to be Terrible Joke Tuesday.

Hmm…well, promising that may have been a bit rash, though I will share my favourite joke with you (yes, I know you’ve all heard it before, but that’s it’s charm…)

‘What’s brown and sticky?’

‘A stick!’

Well, while you hold your sides with mirth, I’ll try and think of something else to share about today.

I’ve been bottling wine, that’s what I’ve been up to today. My homemade slosh.  Six bottles of Peach and six of Chardonnay, made from kits.  It’s not bad actually, perfectly gluggable, and very cheap and cheerful.  It only takes less than a month to ‘cook’ too, so it’s easy to keep a good stock up.  As well as the bottles I bottled this morning, we’ve currently got bottles of Merlot, Elderflower, Cabernet Sauvignon, and I think there might be a Elderberry left too.  All good stuff.

However, lurking in the garage, I have two demijohns full of my very own, no kit, yes made with my own fair hands, Marrow wine.  Except it’s not marrow, it’s courgette.  What can I say, they’d grown massive while we were on holiday, so they looked like marrows.  All the same anyway.

But I do seem to have invented Brown Wine.  It’s certainly not red or white, or even rose. Nope, definitely brown. And muddy. Well, it’ll clear, won’t it?

Actually, I’m not holding my breath. It’s been in there for a couple of months and there doesn’t seem to be much happening. Still, I won’t give up on my baby, I’ll keep racking it (decanting into fresh demijohns) and will watch it closely. And frankly, even if it stays brown and muddy, we’ll probably still drink it. Anyway, it might just be a slow mover, and will be ready in time for Christmas 2015. I’ll let you know.

Cheers!

Tell Father Christmas not to bother

October, and already the shops are filling with Christmas ‘cheer’.  For the first time this year though, for us, Christmas is cancelled.

Now, I’ve often thought about cancelling it before. For a start, there’s the hassle of Christmas shopping.  Fighting through hoards of harassed people to find gifts that you know will be gratefully received, but will probably be stuck at the back of the recipients cupboard for all eternity. The queuing to pay, only to eventually be served by thoroughly cheesed off staff who have had their brains fried by the constant loop of ‘Jingle Bells’, and ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’. Frankly, you’ve only been in the shop for ten minutes and you would willing smash the damn tannoy yourself.

Then there’s the long heated discussions about who is going where, and when.  Which mum is coming to us this year? When are we going to see brothers/ sisters/nieces/nephews… ?? Are they coming to us or should we go to them?  Who’s staying over? Will they want lunch the next day as well??

Once decided, there is the happy task of food/drink shopping.  You park in the one spot left in the supermarket car park. The little one.  Next to the bollard that you scrape as you pull in.

You get a trolley with wonky wheels that insist on going in the opposite direction that you want to, which makes you swear loudly, turning heads and forcing mothers to cover their children’s ears. The supermarket is packed with people all standing chatting in front of the aisles that you want to go down. The shop has run out of just about everything you’d planned to buy, and you know you’ll have to repeat the visit again before the big day. Yet still you end up paying over a hundred quid and having a trolley load big enough to feed an army, and somehow you’re going to have to find room for it all in the cupboards when you get home.

You’ll guess I’ve never been a big fan of the run-up, but I do love Christmas eve, when the wrapping is finished, the turkey is ready for popping in the oven the next day, and we sit down to watch ‘Carols from Kings’ with a glass of sherry.

I love the morning itself often dragging everyone else out of bed early.  Even when my daughters were young, they were never ones for getting up at the crack of dawn it was always me waking them

‘lets go and see if Father Christmas has been!’

He always had.

The smell of Christmas dinner cooking while we ate mince pies and drank Bucks Fizz. Playing with the daft games.  Eating chocolates.  Lighting the Christmas pudding with Brandy.  Falling asleep in the afternoon.  Eating some more.  Drinking some more. Playing raucous board games ‘til two in the morning.

Yes, overall, I pretty much enjoy the actual event.

But as I said, this year, for the very first time, Christmas is cancelled.

Our doctor daughters have so far been lucky with their shifts and have always managed to come home for Christmas.  This year though, it’s their turn to work, one has to do a long shift on Christmas day and the other on Boxing day (though they live and work at opposite ends of the country – just an unfortunate coincidence!).  So me and my husband will be on our own.  For one reason or another, we won’t be seeing any other family either.  It will be very weird.

Of course, we’ll try and get together at some time, either before or after the ‘big day’, and I’m determined that ‘our christmas’ will be exactly the same as everyone else’s whether it fall on the  1st December or the 1st January.   I’ll still have to do the shopping and the wrapping. We’ll still have the tree, and the presents and the turkey, and it will still be brilliant.  And I keep telling myself it won’t matter when we do it, as long as we’re all together at some point.

But secretly, whilst being really, really proud of my hardworking daughters, I’m still very sad that I’m having to write to Father Christmas and tell him not to bother to come on the 24th!

Written as part of the Writing 101 challenge – ‘think about an event you have attended and loved and you’re told it will be cancelled – your voice will find you’.

Home but not a house

I never thought much about it when I was growing up, it was just where we lived, but when I told my husband that we lived over a motorbike showroom that was squashed between an off licence and a salvation army hall, with a bus stop right in front of our front door, he swore there must be a story in there somewhere.

Now I come to think of it, there probably is, but I’m not going to explore that now.  I’ll just tell you the facts. It was an old building in Tooting, South London, probably a warehouse at one time. Certainly, our first floor living room was of warehouse proportions, and a devil to keep warm, especially with the three tall drafty sash windows that lined the front wall.  We used to stuff newspapers in the gaps between the panes to stop them rattling in the wind. We had no central heating, and relied heavily on a two bar electric fire at the end where the sofa and tiny TV stood, and a terrifyingly temperamental paraffin heater at the other end beside the slightly out of tune piano that my sister used to endlessly practice ‘The Elizabethan Serenade’ on.

Next to the living room was the kitchen/diner, always steamy, with a kettle on the boil, and the oven alight to warm the room.  The old radio would be humming ‘sing something simple’ or ‘The Goon show’ while we sat at the table for our tea.

The bedrooms were on the second floor.  My sister and I shared a long narrow room with another newspaper-stuffed sash window at the far end.  The room was decorated with willow pattern wallpaper, and we used to entertain each other making up stories about the little Japanese people that were crossing the ornate blue bridges.  When she got married and left home I was allowed to choose the décor and went for a vivid plain orange paper, which I loved, but it had no stories to tell.

When I was very young we didn’t have a bathroom, and on Friday nights mum took as into town to the public baths where my sister and I shared a soak. Eventually though, my dad did a bit of home bodging and put in a bathroom and indoor toilet – luxury!  Like most of his projects, I don’t think it was ever quite finished off, but he did paint the walls using a feather duster dipped in different coloured paints to give a rainbow effect. This was long before fancy paint techniques were discussed on the TV.  In fact, it was long before any DIY shows were on the TV!

Our home was dusty and drafty. There were lots of stairs and a spider filled basement, which had been used as an air-raid shelter during the war, and which I didn’t dare go in, not only because of the spiders, but also because of the scary stories my sister used to tell me about witches and bogey men that lived down there.  I was so frightened of it that I always sidled quickly past its wooden door to get out into the small walled garden.  I seem to have a vague memory of a corrugated iron Anderson shelter out there at one time, but I guess that must have been taken down when I was very young.

Sometimes, but not always, our garden had flowers, once I had a much beloved guinea pig who lived out there, but over-ridingly, there was the huge white pigeon loft which took up pretty much half of the space. When Dad got into pigeon racing, everything else went.  The apple tree in the middle of the grass.  The flower beds.  The guinea pig.  My swing-in-the-door.  Instead, the pigeons became his, and by default, our focus. Trying not to knock the jelly off the window sill where it had been left to set, while we leant precariously out of the kitchen window to see if they were on their way back after a race, or standing outside rattling tins of food to entice them to come down to have their racing rings removed and be ‘clocked back’ became our standard occupations on Saturday afternoons.

Dad’s craze’s and eccentricities were a central part of my growing up, and many of them formed the memories I have of my childhood home. Often when I think back to those times I think of the many Christmas’s when he insisted on decorating the front room with an elaborate spider’s web of crepe paper strips. I have no idea where he got his ideas from, but I have never seen the like since.  I remember being mortified at the time and really just wanting tinsel and paper chains like all the other kids had.  Now, the memory of the ‘ta da!’ moment when we all stood round with our fingers crossed while he cut the strings that temporarily held the strips of paper up, to reveal that they were in fact self-supporting, is a warm memory of home I will never forget.

Written as part of the writing 101 challenge – write about your childhood home with sentence length in mind.

Pass the Pins

My dad used to go to the pub a lot. I think it would be fair to say he liked a drink. As a child, I didn’t necessarily know where he was going, if I asked he’d only say he was going to ‘meet a man about a dog’.  I have no idea where that saying came from, all I know is that I spent many hours excitedly anticipating the arrival of a new puppy that never came.

On Sundays, he used to go to the pub while my mum and nan cooked a huge roast dinner.  We’d always have to wait for him to come back before we ate, but nevertheless we were always pleased that he went because the fish stall used to park outside the pub on Sunday’s, and dad would always come back weighed down with bags of shellfish for us to have for tea.

After the obligatory Sunday afternoon watching a weepy on TV from the floor while Dad snored on the sofa, I’d go and help mum and nan prepare the salad.  No fancy salad bowls brimming with multi-coloured mixed leaves and chopped vegetables for us. Oh no…our salad’s constituted:

a pile of lettuce leaves in a bowl

a pile of tomatoes in a bowl

Some very thin slices of cucumber in a bowl

Some cress in a bowl

Some full length sticks of celery standing up in a glass (how posh)

And a bottle of salad cream

These bowls would be distributed about our gingham-cloth covered table leaving space in the middle for the stars of the show, the shellfish.

Oh how I loved the messiness of the shellfish tea.  Getting pink prawn husks and eggs stuck to our fingers, shelling the scampi (fresh ones the like of which I’ve not seen since), using dressmaking pins to lift the grey ‘lids’ off the winkles and wheedle the curled fleshy bit out, and the peculiar yellow cockles, that looked like the result of a violent sneeze, yet with a shake of salt and splash of vinegar tasted like the finest gourmet food.

I loved to see my fastidious old nan digging in and getting just as mucky as the rest of us, even licking the fishy juice from her fingers like I did.  .

Afterwards, the bin would be full of the smelly shells, and mum would have to take the table-cloth out to the back garden and give it a vigorous shake to get rid of the stuck on bits of prawn antenna and legs, and winkle lids.

There was always salad left over, and more often than not the next day, all I’d find in my lunchbox was a cucumber, lettuce and tomato sandwich, with a stick of celery nestling alongside it.

Those days are long gone, and it seems that, these days, we have become over-sensitised to eating anything that looks a bit strange, or having to do anything as weird as wheedling out a winkle to get our food.  But I remember those family teas as a bonding time. It was the one time of the week, when we sat down and ate together, little was said, and we all got on.