rebooting

Hmmm…I’ve got an offer of work. Oh blow. Of course, this is good. It means some dosh coming in, it means I can go back to spending normally instead of keeping checks on my purse all the time. It means I’ll be intellectually challenged again. I won’t have to tick ‘housewife’ on forms again (I’m surprised at how much I loath that term) and I can work from home. Its only three days a week. Perfect!

However…

I know I only stopped working three months ago, but really, I’m out of that mindset now. I like jogging through my day, deciding what to do on the spur of the moment. For instance, this afternoon I took the dog for a nice run round the playing field, came home checked a few emails, thought I’d get the bedrooms ready for the Christmas visitors, took one look and changed my mind and went and made some bread instead. It’s great. I am master of my own destiny. I feel strangely fulfilled. Work is going to interfere with all that. I’m going to have structure my day’s and everything. I’ll have to be nice to people I don’t particularly like again. Oh blow.

Of course, I’m going to say yes, it would be stupid not to. I’m hoping that I’m still going to find the time and inclination to blog, even if its only to have a moan (what are friends for?), and with any luck I’ll still be able to take control of my workload – one of the most important factors when it comes to job satisfaction I’m told.

Oh well, It’s not quite confirmed yet, so for the time being, I can carry on rebooting, and tell myself I’ve still got the rest of this year before I have to knuckle down!

My husband doesn’t ‘get’ blogging

‘Who has time to read other people’s streams of consciousness?’ he’ll snort.

Well, these days I do. And I write a stream of consciousness myself. Oh, I know it should be more than that, and I know most blogs are more wonderful, funny and informative, than mine. But the thing with streams of consciousness-es is that they show us that, across the world, underneath it all, we all have the same basic irritations, anxieties, and joys in life.

For instance, the great blog that I read by Nathan Badley ‘Dear man in front of me at the gas station’ certainly rang bells (read Nathan’s Blog).

I’m very new to blogging, and new to reading them too, and I’ve been delighted to find so many like-minded people, spending often what little spare time they have, telling me about their lives. It’s also a delight to read pieces with an oblique slant on things, blogs that make me think. I’ve seen some funny ones written, and sometimes, drawn, by talented and interesting individuals. I found recipes and advice, and critiques on books I have yet to read. The blogging world has been a revelation to me.

And what of my own efforts? Well, I intended to use this blog as merely a tool to encourage me to write most days, and it’s working. The discipline of thinking up a topic and title is forcing me to expand my thoughts (not far…yet!). You see, having had a tough time at work for the last year or so, my thoughts have dwelt obsessively and depressingly there. My mind was shackled to the office, my previously soaring imagination suppressed and unused. However, despite it taking a little time, gradually the grey dullness is receding and being replaced by the rainbow. I find myself making up verses randomly, as I had done in the past, and potential stories are seen in everyday situations. People walking along the street are potential characters – murderers?? My writing is beginning to flow again.

So I apologise for the stream of consciousness, the ramblings, and any rantings which may well follow, but it really is helping me reboot!