Today’s writing 101 challenge – complete the following story from the perspective of a 12 year old boy watching from across the street:
‘The neighbourhood has seen better days, but Mrs. Pauley has lived there since before anyone can remember. She raised a family of six boys, who’ve all grown up and moved away. Since Mr. Pauley died three months ago, she’d had no income. She’s fallen behind in the rent. The landlord, accompanied by the police, have come to evict Mrs. Pauley from the house she’s lived in for forty years.’
Ha! Some excitement ‘round this boring hole at last. Looks like they’ve come for the old bag. The cops.
Course, dunno if it’s cops. Might be. Some bloke anyways. Hope it is a cop, perhaps he’ll shoot her. BANG. Ha! Old bag. That’ll teach her.
Wish mum hadn’t locked me wheels up. Can’t go ‘round park without me wheels. Mum’s an ol’ bag too. I should tell the cops ‘bout her. Taking my stuff away. So what if I knocked that kid over? He bloody deserved it. Little git.
Looks like there’s a bit of a bust up o’er there at old Pauley’s. She’s got ‘er broom out. Wonder if she’s threatening to clout that bloke with it like she did when me and Jack Sproggett rode us wheels o’er her manky old bit of grass?
It was that ‘orrible year 11 kid, Tommy Murch’s, fault. He bet us we wouldn’t.
‘go on. Bet yer daren’t….. twinnies’ the git had said, all sarcastic like. I hated it when anyone called us ‘twinnies’. We’re not even bloody brothers. Ok, we look a bit alike, Jack being a ging like me. But I’m bigger. We ‘ad a armwrestle t’other day and I beat ‘im dead good. Weedy little git.
An’ he’s got spots. A biggun right on ‘is chin. Watched him squeeze it ‘til it popped and white goo came out all over is ‘ands. I dared ‘im to lick it off, but he wouldn’t. Wuss.
That broom ain’t helping. That bloke’s not moving anywhere.
Oooh… the cops have come, they’ve even got their lights flashing and their woowoos going. Jack’ll be sick he missed this.
Oh boring. The cops are trying to calm the old bag down. No guns or anythin’. Looks like they’re trying to sweet talk her. Perhaps it’s that good cop/bad cop thing. Perhaps one of ’em’ll bash ‘er in a minute. She could do with a bashing. She’s been a bit weird since the man died. That was dead good that was. I saw the coffin and everythin’. Mum said he’d been ‘laid out’ in the front room. Me and Jack went over to see if we could see ‘im through the front room window when nobody was about. Couldn’t see anything through the ruddy net curtains though. Bit of a swizz.
Crikey, a van’s turned up. Like bleedin’ Picadilly Circus down our road s’afternoon. Bloody hell…they’re only putting her disgusting ol’ furniture in it. Looks as old as she is. She’s crying like a baby. Bloody baby. Stupid old bag.
Wonder what’s for tea.
Great characterisation, it really did sound like a 12 year old, and a mean one at that!
Thanks Laura. Yes meaner than I intended really, but hey ho!
Holy cow, you had me howling. And almost sick…spot goo ohmygoshgross. Nice job.
hehe… sorry about that Casey!!