strength

My young self could do backbends, and yes, walkovers, splits, could comfortably sit in lotus position (without knowing what it was), and as a party piece, could walk across the room on my knees whilst in said lotus position (I’m talking very young here….!!).

Yeah, no, can’t do any of that now.

I’ve been practising yoga formally, on and off, for about thirty years. I always thought that the more I practiced the more flexible I’d become, which is true up to a point. The problem is, I wasn’t taking the ageing process into account. I’m in my seventies now and have found that, with the best will in the world, my knees just won’t accommodate lotus anymore. Oh yes, I can get into half lotus, but the other half eludes me. My back won’t bend like it used to. I can just about do bow pose, but its not pretty (I might be kidding myself here, tbh I haven’t tried it lately!) .

Of course, the other thing about ageing is that you are supposed to get wiser.

Wisdom is another thing that eludes me. But what I have learnt through my practice, and now accept, is that its ok not to be as bendy as the next person, or even be as bendy as I used to be.

Keeping practicing does not necessarily make me super flexible, strong, and balanced, but it does (and this is a very big does) keep me more flexible, strong and balanced than I would be if I didn’t practice. Worrying about that elusive posture won’t make me achieve it, but working towards the best posture this old body can achieve is in itself the reward. Each time I forward bend and find I can still easily place my palms on the floor I am reminded of how many people of my age who aren’t able to do that, and I feel like a ten year old again when I do manage to get up into headstand.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that yoga has given me a positive frame of mind, making me proud of what I can achieve, instead of worrying about what I can’t, or regretting how I’ve changed. It is a life lesson I can carry through all aspects of my life too.

I see all those Instagram pictures of flexible folk in incredible poses, arm balances, legs above their heads, and all the rest, and I admire them, I really do, but I’m happy to leave that practice to them, and just be grateful that yoga improves my health and wellbeing in ways I could never have imagined when I was nine years old and walking on my knees in lotus.

Triangle Pose

I practice yoga (that’s not me in the picture, by the way, I wouldn’t dream of letting anyone take my picture while I’m posing!) I remember telling someone that once and they responded, rather sniffily, ‘you mean a bit of stretching’. I felt quite aggrieved. Yes, it is a bit of stretching, but so much more too.

I go to a class once a week at the beautiful Jasmine Trust Yoga Centre. At this time of year, we practice in soft lights with no music and no mirrors to distract us. It is a time for us to internalise, to listen to our breath and try different breathing exercises along with the postures and poses.

Now many people might pooh pooh the breathing exercise stuff. I admit I was a bit sceptical at first and certainly, even now, I don’t necessarily find them all useful and sometimes find them a bit absurd (alternate nostril breathing is one I find hard to take seriously for instance), but the main point, it seems to me, is to drag your mind away from its noise of troubles: I’m cross (see previous post), what’s for tea, need to do the ironing, what’s the women next to me doing etc. instead you concentrate entirely on your breathing. Sometimes, its short broken breaths, others so deep that your entire body feels light and full of air. It’s calming and meditative.

We also use breathing to help with postures, and stretching – an out breath can give you a little bit more effort in a twisting posture for instance, and Carolyn’s chanting of ‘take a nice easy breath, breathing out as you turn…..’ maintains the atmosphere of calm even when you’re feeling decidedly unstable, or the position feels like its pulling you in two directions at once.

Mountain Pose

Yesterday, at class, we used straps to pull us in to shapes our bodies were trying quite hard to resist, well, at least mine was. Can’t say I enjoyed it much, I prefer the pure and powerful feeling of achieving (or trying to achieve) the poses without aids. Even just to simply stand firmly, straight and still, with two feet planted together in mountain pose for a few minutes feels surprisingly strong.

So ok, I’m getting on a bit, and not as flexible as I used to be, and am never going to be able to get my feet behind my head, or balance my crosslegged body on my hands. In fact, I dread to think what I look like sometimes, what with all the bridges, and bending and stuff, but each time I practice I get just a little bit stronger, bendier and calmer, which can’t be all bad!